Facebook Changes Policy on Deceased Users Accounts?

Late last week the Consumerist wrote an article highlighting a woman who had trouble convincing Facebook to remove the profile of her deceased brother. William Bemister, the brother of Stephanie Bermister, died suddenly last November. Stephanie’s case in particular brings up several important issues regarding Facebook, it’s policy towards deceased users, and the way in which it deals with family members of the deceased.

Per Facebook’s policy, his profile was memorialized, a process by which certain private information is removed and the page is only accessible to confirmed friends through search. The problem in Stephanie’s case was that she was not yet a confirmed friend. After Stephanie sent in a request along with a copy of William’s death certificate to Facebook for removing William’s profile completely, Facebook still did not remove the profile.

Should Facebook have the right to decide what to do with a deceased member’s account despite direct and confirmed contact with a relative? At the very least, family members should be contacted for permission before Facebook begins this process.

Since the Consumerist article was initially published Facebook has agreed to remove William’s account all together, and a written response to our own inquiry indicates that Facebook will honor such requests from family members. Facebook is also clear to state that it will not give login information for the deceased account, but will remove the profile per the request of family members.

What’s still in question is the process by which Facebook determines which users are deceased, and how this is confirmed. We haven’t received any additional information from Facebook regarding this particular aspect of the process for managing the profiles of deceased members, but looking at Stephanie’s situation merely highlights the uncomfortable dynamic a social network can enduce when dealing with the topic of death.

So what should a user do if placed in Stephanie’s shoes? Be prepared to deal with a potentially arduous process with the social networks, as there could be a lot of ongoing correspondence and paperwork to deal with. It may also be a good idea to make sure you’re friends with your closest family members that also have Facebook accounts. Depending on the person and their use of social networks, it may also be a good idea to have a plan of action in place, outlining instructions to family members and loved ones in regard to what should be done with their accounts once they’ve passed away.

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421963 Comments2009-02-27+20%3A25%3A30Kristen+Nicole »

Great write up. I hadn't considered these implications before. It always comes back to the question, "Who owns the information?" Just because you password-protect your user accounts doesn't mean they're yours, or inheritable. Disconcerting.

Comment by Qui Diaz — February 27, 2009 @ 11:30 am
I hope this is a policy I will never have encounter.

Comment by Cyrus B. Radfar — February 27, 2009 @ 11:47 am
I am not trying to be funny here but I am interested in knowing why this matters to family members? If I have passed away, my Facebook account may still be out there but it will be an account with no activity on it.

I am interested in hearing some legitimate reasons why a family goes through the troubles of shutting down my online account at Facebook or any other site that I was a member of.

Quite frankly, I am on so many different sites, I doubt if my family would even know where to start asking for my information to be removed from.

Comment by Otis Collier — February 27, 2009 @ 10:50 am
This seems to get right back to the whole TOS/who owns content issue that Facebook cannot seem to get right.

Chilling.

Comment by Facebook User — February 27, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
How bout allowing me to decide? I write a will when I am alive, why can’t I tell facebook what to do in the event of my death. I hope my facebook account is opened up several years after my death just like Census records are. My decedents should be allowed to learn about my life and get a sense of who I was through facebook.

Comment by CG — February 27, 2009 @ 11:13 pm
I actually like the idea of my Facebook profile sticking around after I'm gone. I don't understand why a family member would even want to pursue closing what will probably be the most comprehensive memorial a person could have.

Comment by Rodney — February 28, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
It can be a bit tricky – my best friend died two years ago and he had a Facebook account and it is still there. In some ways it is nice to see his picture show up in my friends list and in other ways it is a painful reminder that he is no longer around. It is fine for me to feel the pain of loss when I see his smiling face – but if it was a family member or in this case – my friends son is on Facebook, and it is one's father it would be very hard to deal with. When you see your friends face on Facebook you wonder what are they up to right now – but in the case of friends that pass – it is a sharp reminder that they are not here any longer to enjoy all the friends they have.

I think the memorial page is the best way to deal with it and it should be the family that has the final say as to if it shows up or not.

Cheers – Eric

Comment by Eric Dewhirst — March 2, 2009 @ 11:54 am
Tricky indeed! I think the best way would be to allow me to decide what happens with my account. And if I decided not to delete, then my friends should have an option to hide my face on their friends listings.

CG: interesting what you said about open it up! Newer thought about that option, but kind of like it.

Comment by EdgarPE — March 2, 2009 @ 2:46 pm
The policy is messed up. Just look at this situation: http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/4657019/

Why memorialize friendships like that?

Comment by Emmo Etzel — March 3, 2009 @ 12:09 pm
I see dead people….

I was thinking why Facebook rejected this at first. From a marketing point of view, even the "memorial" pages are going to have ads, and are going to drive some revenue, with more people looking at those ads after the person dies. Could that be the reason? And if that is the case, what type of advertisement is Facebook using?

Comment by PPerez — March 26, 2009 @ 3:16 pm
I think facebook should have option where the account can be totally deleted like it can for example with myspace, a little while ago now I conducted a little test on facebook. Ok so one day y’know I’d just basically become totally fed up with facebook and social networking all together and so wanted to delete my account I then was fairly annoyed to find out that you only had the option to “deactivate” your account not totally delete like myspace, but then what outraged me after that was when I asked a friend to go to my profile I was shocked to see that all my information was still there and still fully accessable despite me “deactivating” the account , so in the end I ended up using my account again but rarely now as I, to be honest don’t really want to, and so for deceased members I think that it is uttery oporling that this much trouble has to happen for a family relative to gain control of the deceased account.

Comment by LM — April 15, 2009 @ 11:00 am
I am quite certain I will never have to deal with this issue.

Comment by Peter Atkinson — May 23, 2009 @ 3:20 pm
My sixteen year old son, Kaleb, died in a car accident in October 2008. I didn't request his page be removed. However, I did request that facebook let me become his friend so I could see and read the postings of his friends. In someway this gives me comfort to know that people still miss Kaleb. It's hard to explain how I feel. Sadly FB would not agree to let me be a friend. They memorialized his profile. Why couldn't FB just let me, his mom, be a friend??? What would it hurt???

Comment by Vivian Payne — June 20, 2009 @ 3:39 pm
Pretty much have the same situation…..

My brother passed away and I of course can not get into his page. I do NOT want to delete or deactivate it; I want to leave it up for any tributes people would like to offer and open it up to anyone that would like to put a not on his Wall. I have searched and search through the help pages but to no avail am able to locate assistance. Help pages do not offer anyway for comments, which is funny since there are many comments. So, any suggestions I am open…

Comment by Judy Wallace — September 18, 2009 @ 9:19 am
My son Steffun Kong passed recently,July 26th 2009, & I have been trying to find a way to have his profile deleted for his birthday is coming up next Sunday September 27th 2009 and I know that his friends will be sending in birthday wishes etc to his profile, i know they mean well, but….and he and I have a lot of friends in common, this is not easy for me and I would appreciate if Facebook can please delete the profile so that no one can add anything to it, he lived in Trinidad West Indies, Diego Martin to be exact, his date of birth was September 27th 1988, all you have to do is look on his profile and you will see that he passed, with all the comments etc. that I am his mother I can prove if you need I can forward a copy of his birth paper, passport, national id card, and death certificate to you if you tell me where to send it to, i can email it, along with a copy of anything of mine that would prove that I am his Mother. Unlike one of the comments above, it would only hurt more with persons sending in comments and best wishes and happy birthday and that kinda thing, I just want it to be over. Please delete the account. Thanks

Comment by Sabrina Superville — September 20, 2009 @ 10:45 pm
Accounts should time out after nine months of no login. As the facebook community gets larger it probably makes sense to automatically delete accounts. As well, a family member can always create a new group for memorial purposes.

That’s probably the safest and easiest legal way of dealing with it.

Comment by Corey — October 5, 2009 @ 4:06 am
My friend passed away ten months ago and we continue to write on her wall whenever we miss her. I know it’s probably not the easiest way to deal with it, but I don’t ever want to lose this communication with my friend, it makes me feel like I’m still connected to her in some way.

Comment by jayden — October 27, 2009 @ 5:00 pm
My son Robby died tragically on September 5, 2009. Fortunately, his cousin knew his password so we have been able to monitor it (neither parent had FB accounts). We feel very fortunate that FB is available for us to keep in contact with his friends and read the things they post daily on his page.

Comment by Sue J — October 28, 2009 @ 9:11 am
I am dealing with a family whose daughter suicided and the comments on facebook are very distressing to the family. to try to delete this profile is proving just another major battle for this very traumatised family and is causing such untold grief. To find the information to have this profile deleted has proven to be a battle of major proportion and is just disgraceful.

Comment by Sue — November 10, 2009 @ 5:02 pm
Yes, it is very distressing to loose a family member in the first place. Almost a month before my Son passed away,I sent him a friend request on Facebook. Well,it was never answered,untill two months after he died. His death was suspicious,and I had contacted the police. They only had a recording,so I left a message that I needed to talk to someone. They never got back to me. Then one day,while I was on Facebook,I sat there in shock as I looked at a message,with my Son's picture. It said my Son's name,then it said "He's engaged". This was two months after he was shot. I sent a message back "Who ever is doing this,Stop…now!" Well, guess what? The next day,the picture and message disappeared. then I received a message from his girlfriend,asking me how I was doing. I was appalled,and wondered what is going on. Should I call the police ?

Comment by Kimea — December 11, 2009 @ 8:32 pm
I lost my friend on October 19 and I was wondering what would happen to his facebook account. For reasons that seem trivial now he and I were not friends on facebook at the time of his death, so I imagine I cannot see his page anymore if I looked it up. Personally I don't want to see it, it would hurt too much, but I don't see a problem with his other friends accessing his page, just like I wouldn't mind people accessing my page when I die.

However, I do think we should be given an option when we sign up of whether or not we would like to have our page still up in the event of our death. I feel like that would solve this problem right away. If we do want it to stay up then keep it up and memorialize it. If we don't than delete it completely.

Comment by Keviswithme — December 12, 2009 @ 6:44 am
i too want my deceased son off facebook as its so distressing when it suggests i add him as a friend but still looking for a concrete way of doing this

Comment by susan steele — January 9, 2010 @ 2:07 pm
I lost my Dad a few weeks ago. We wanted to leave his account up for awhile so we could get messages to friends that we may not have known to call. Last night there was a message on my screen to reconnect with Dad. It was sad to see. I expect FB to send me birthday reminders any day now. I can't imagine if people were leaving negetive comments. There is so much to work through when greiving a family member this is just another one of those painful decisions that has to be made.

Comment by Paula — February 1, 2010 @ 3:47 am
I have now lost two friends that were on my Facebook friends list. I feel guilty if I think of deleting them as my friend, but it is upsetting to see their name on all lists to send gifts to, to write on their wall, etc. If I do delete them as a friend, I will keep getting prompts to reconnect with them, and that is upsetting too. Not sure what the correct answer to this would be. Just my two cents worth.

Comment by Alberta DeCicco — February 5, 2010 @ 10:12 pm
I just wanted to write something here about my recent passing of a friend who was very fond of facebook. Over the past month or so I have checked his wall and have seen many people leave messages to the affect of "Thinking of you." and "Wish you were here to chat with at 2am.".. With that being said I believe everyone handles it differently. For some it is a sense of still being connected with that person. Me personally I wrote something on there a couple days ago and to be honest… It felt great. Just because something isn't right for you doesn't mean it's wrong.. I know he would be happy that his facebook account is still active and I hope mine is when I'm gone… Food for thought.

Comment by Hope — February 12, 2010 @ 11:01 pm
Hi-My son was killed in a car accident February 17th, 2010. I want to be able to keep his FB page alive but I would like to change the profile picture he has on there. I have no clue what the password is. Is there anyway I can get this? I don not want his page to ever go away.

Comment by Shir — February 26, 2010 @ 12:46 pm
So as a family member of a deceased member the issue is that my dead father's account keeps popping up asking me to recommend more friends. It's painful! And there as with all facebook help there is nothing at all that is helpful in dealing with this. Apparently I have to write the President and enclose a death certificate.

Barbaric!

Comment by Ruchard Beal — March 3, 2010 @ 4:17 pm
And I should have added that NO FACEBOOK EMPLOYEE ever reads any comments (or if they do they are so low level they can do nothing about it). We've all experienced that.

That's what happens when you allow someone in their 20s to be CEO of a significant company. They simply haven't learned about the real world yet.

Shameful.

Comment by Ruchard Beal — March 3, 2010 @ 4:21 pm
JUST DE-FRIEND HIM/HER.

If it's painful to be reminded, that is. If you don't feel comfortable de-friending, obviously having that page available to you is a comfort, in which case you shouldn't be asking to have it deleted.

Comment by Simple Solution — March 10, 2010 @ 9:05 pm
please help–I need to delete my husband's memorial page on Facebook. His death, drowning as a result of a heart attack, was accidental, unfortunately on our honeymoon in front of me and the children, and his family continues to blame me, his bride of 4 1/2 days, for his death. Their venom is exposed on his page, and I need for it to disappear. It is dishonoring my husband and my self and children, and I need for it to stop. Help!!

Comment by Dani — May 9, 2010 @ 1:52 pm
My fiance passed away, quite quickly, from cancer recently. Somebody reported his account as deceased, yet his mom and I still use it. She's not very computer literate, though I am, and we liked having his account. I have sent email after email after email to facebook, telling them that we did not authorize this request, and to reactivate it. They have not done so yet, and that was about 2 weeks ago. I am upset that I am unable to login to his account (when he was alive, we both had eachothers passwords, and logged in together all the time)… and I liked being able to send him messages on there (my way of talking to him). I'm unsure what else to do. Any advice?

Comment by Lisa Marie — May 12, 2010 @ 1:34 pm
My husband died – I want his face book page removed – how do I do this – is there a customer service connect with Face Book?

I don't know my husband's pass word either

Comment by jennifer lyon — May 30, 2010 @ 6:05 am
How do I remove a deceased persons Face book>

Comment by Marianne — June 1, 2010 @ 1:01 pm
My account or my main account that has all my family and family genealogy research on it has been stuck in limbo aka memorial state. Facebook claims that if you send them a screen shot they will attempt to review the problem. They note that they cannot review everything.

Well does this mean that we're stuck? – Am i now doomed to have everything shut down? Someone couldn't possibly have the possible RIGHTS to claim me as deceased.

Comment by Reiko Arashi — June 1, 2010 @ 8:13 pm
Have the same problem!!!!! Son passed away last year, don't know he's password, also want to have his facebook profile CLOSED!!!!!! He's not here anymore!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T U HELP US??????

Comment by geraldine — June 30, 2010 @ 9:04 pm
I'm he's mother and am sure u can help me to close his facebook account – IF U WANT TO!!!!! I really can't see the reason why its still open. He passed over – he's not here anymore – PLEASE HELP ME IN DOING THIS!!!! U have got no idea how painful it is, knowing that its still openend!!!!!

Comment by geraldine — June 30, 2010 @ 9:07 pm
Report a Deceased Person's Profile

I need help with my auntie annes profile. want it deleted also my family and auntie annes friends its to painfull to see her profile all the time.

IHAVE BEEN TRYING TO DELETE THIS FOR OVER A MONTH NOW

PLEASE CAN ANYONE HELP ME

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Comment by STACEY — August 10, 2010 @ 8:26 am
my mother is deceased now two years and i cant even get a response from facebook… tired of her being a freind request

Comment by sheldon — August 29, 2010 @ 9:47 am
hi my sister passed away the 25 th of august . … i was on yesterday and someone is using her sight . can we have her sight closed down … it is weird to see it on when log on … thanks

Comment by sharon campbell — September 1, 2010 @ 11:57 am
PLEASE REMOVE MY SON PAUL LEVASSEUR FROM FB…HE DIED 8/5/10

Comment by jerry leVasseur — September 6, 2010 @ 3:14 pm
well you see…My Dad had an anyerizm last april….so ya…he dosnt remmember his face book password so i have been trying to figure it out…….HELP!!!!

Comment by juice box — October 20, 2010 @ 6:52 pm
I am so sorry : /

Comment by jesse candoala — October 20, 2010 @ 6:53 pm
For 1 thing ,I am the father of a deceased member of facebook. It just so happens that he gave his password to his biological mother who started spreading rumors on his account. She began slandering all his friends and nearly started WW 3. I do not have his password and I can not shut it down. And BTW his bio mother never cared about him in the first place and I raised him til he was 18.

Comment by john — November 17, 2010 @ 4:50 am
ou don't understand why this matters to family members – well I'll tell you. I lost my husband 6 months ago – and trust me it would certainly help me a great deal if his picture didn't keep showing up as a "friend who found friends on facebook". I don't need facebook reminding me that his birthday is next week. I figure I'm doing my best to cope with the loss, you do stuff to keep busy – including socialize on facebook – and every time it happens i recoil and have to recover again.

Comment by Julie — December 5, 2010 @ 7:57 am
I know the feeling. My brother passed away unexpectedly in March but would never accept me (long story) as a friend. Now that he is gone, I can't even go to his page any longer to see his face.

Comment by Ellen Gaffield — December 16, 2010 @ 1:48 pm
i am still alive..while my account is in special memorial state…

rehanfareed@hotmail.com is my account.

Comment by rehan — December 17, 2010 @ 7:34 pm
My mother passed away only 4 months ago, Her live in boyfriend has decided that it is prudent to talk to her through post on face book. I am her legal power of attorney, Her passing has devastated my life as she was my best friend and I miss her dearly she was only 59 she lost her battle with cancer. I find it hard enough each day without having to see these post I want her account frozen so no one can post on it or so I have to ok the post first I, if thats not possible I would prefer that it be deleted.

Comment by Tracey — December 19, 2010 @ 1:41 am
I am only looking into this issue because my cousin asked me how to delete her mother's account. Her mom died several months ago. Personally, I don't see the need to have it deleted, but of course I love my cousin and respect her wishes. These comments are interesting to me, though, and I thought maybe my suggestions would be helpful… so here they go:

Comment by Vicky Chrisner — January 22, 2011 @ 7:55 pm
Wrongly my FB account memorialized when I am still alive.
http://lightafterdark.blogspot.com/2011/02/wrongl...

Facebook have yesterday put my account (http://www.facebook.com/MikeXeeko)
into special memorial state, which denies me access to my account. I have filled every possible form there is available and I have even tried calling them but the number isnt used now.

I happen to have an another account in facebook, by using which I have created help page and try to contact facebook without any success.

Yesterday Happen to be my 20th birthday (8th feb 1991). and I have last written on my friends wall wishing her happy birthday (http://www.facebook.com/naxima) which is (9th feb).

The last pic I uploaded was a screen shot of my mobile phone. and I have thanked everyone who wished on my birthday. and I have reset my password today after the account got memorialized to see if that enables and I remember the password too.

My account is made under the email id of p.r.i.n.c.e@live.com

which is my email id.

Someone must have misused facebook special memorial form or it is an honest mistake by facebook.

I request them to contact me or give my account back. ASAP.

If they require any futhure comfirmation of me been alive I am willing to provide them including phone number and video chat opportunity to verify that i am still alive.

My name on facebook is Xixu Xeeks (Mohamed Xeehan)
Email ID: p.r.i.n.c.e@live.com
Network: none
My privacy setting will be customized
and I recently changed my quotation to in 2011…(the full quotation I dont remember)
I live in male' maldives
my home town also will be Male' Maldives

Please give me my account back.

Comment by xeeks — February 9, 2011 @ 5:05 pm
Because facebook offers people to be mutual friends even when your friend's mother is dead.

Comment by Sean — February 14, 2011 @ 12:34 pm
I have a girl friend that I wanted to send a Face Book invite to. FB came back saying they already had that e-mail in FB. So I searched & searched for her,could not find her. Finally thought to do a search for the e-mail. Well it came up, it belonged to her now deceased husband. So FB would not send her an invite, because he had a FB account. I'm really not sure how to deal with this.

Comment by Terri — May 17, 2011 @ 5:53 pm
my brother died need to delete his account

Comment by patrick — September 6, 2011 @ 1:23 pm
i would like for someone to get back with me. my son died on jan 1 and he is still on facebook but there is no way i can friend him because i was not on here at the time

Comment by ginger higgins — September 6, 2011 @ 11:24 pm
there must be some effective reporting mechanism or death certificates check !

Comment by sorcim — September 14, 2011 @ 2:35 pm
my brother was fatally injured in an accident this summer. his FB site is still up and running. i'm glad – so many friends and family wrote on his site and he still gets tagged. i'm not sure what he would think about it, but it has been comforting for those who new him – being he had connections all over the country and overseas this has been very helpful. Eventually, the site should come down.

Comment by Gabriele — October 7, 2011 @ 11:42 am
well what if your husband dies , and he raised your three kids , and had two of his own , but they never gave a crap about him till he died , and now the use his facebook to save face and feed of their own guilt,. i do not want them to have the right , to act like the ever gave a shit about him,. it really make me and his three step kids witch he love , and not saying he didn't love his own kid , he did , but the never acted like the loved him,. and we dont want to see all there bull on his face book

Comment by sammy — November 5, 2011 @ 10:13 pm
My sister passed away Jan. 1, 2011 and someone is adding new friends to her list. Also some one has deleted me from the friend list.. Who is doing this? Activity on a deceased persons wall, is this legal??

Comment by connie — December 16, 2011 @ 10:24 am
It is a constant reminder of losing someone so close. It feels like an invasion of what should be a private mourning. I just lost my sister and I am trying to get Facebook to close the account not only for me but for my step-dad. A death is a very private matter

Comment by Brenda — January 4, 2012 @ 11:37 pm
I am assuming you have not lost anyone close to you. I would rather be able to close the Facebook account as opposed to de-friend someone that I love very much.

Comment by Brenda — January 4, 2012 @ 11:40 pm
I agree that an option to delete after death sould be there for people to activate when they have an account. For all the people wishing to delete family and friends accounts because it pains them to see them please remember that it is their account and they may have wished it to stay open.( I know that I would) so friends could drop by and visit. If it really bothers you to be reminded that a loved one once existed pehaps remove them from your friends list. I just hope my family never feels they would need to do this and just think long turm. Would you not regret losing the ability to visit their page many years from now, when the pain of lose turns to the joy of rememberance?

Comment by Jeramy — January 14, 2012 @ 2:13 am
I am in this situation and have tried to reach someone to have his page deleted. My son was not 18 still a minor and as such my responsibility. He passed July 2010 and by agreement of his friends and family left his account active to allow people to talk, write whatever was needed. However, over time his close friends and family remember him in so many ways not on facebook. Not always are the comments made related to his memory it's disagreements, lack of concern for another friends point of view. When he passed so suddenly so many people wanted to get on his page and we let them. He was a well know athlete so over 1200 were on it in no time. It has served it's purpose. I can not close it down because the computer he and I shared which automatically let me into his facebook page is now having a problem opening windows. Don't have his password so can't get into his page from my new computer. I also was not a friend of his on facebook, didn't need to be he let me on it whenever I wanted.

Comment by Leslie — January 24, 2012 @ 8:28 pm
Hello,
My name is Jeffrey.
I tried to log into Facebook and I got a message that states my account is under memorial.
In other words they think I'm dead!!!.
I find the Facebook help cntr is not that great and I can't seem to get anywhere.
I have written 3 emails,but I wonder who would read them?.
If any one can help me and give me some advice that would be great!.
Thank you
Jeffrey

Comment by jeffrey carrington — January 26, 2012 @ 6:55 am
Hello,
My name is Jeffrey.
I tried to log into my Facebook account and I got a message that I could not log in due to special memoral notice.
In other words Facebook think I'm dead!!!.
I have wrote 3 emails to them,but I think who would read them?.
I also find there help cntr is not very helpful at all.
If some one can help me and give me some advice that would be great.
Thank you;
Jeffrey

Comment by jeffrey carrington — January 26, 2012 @ 7:07 am

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Great write up. I hadn't considered these implications before. It always comes back to the question, "Who owns the information?" Just because you password-protect your user accounts doesn't mean they're yours, or inheritable. Disconcerting.

Comment by Qui Diaz — February 27, 2009 @ 11:30 am

I hope this is a policy I will never have encounter.

Comment by Cyrus B. Radfar — February 27, 2009 @ 11:47 am

I am not trying to be funny here but I am interested in knowing why this matters to family members? If I have passed away, my Facebook account may still be out there but it will be an account with no activity on it.

I am interested in hearing some legitimate reasons why a family goes through the troubles of shutting down my online account at Facebook or any other site that I was a member of.

Quite frankly, I am on so many different sites, I doubt if my family would even know where to start asking for my information to be removed from.

Comment by Otis Collier — February 27, 2009 @ 10:50 am

This seems to get right back to the whole TOS/who owns content issue that Facebook cannot seem to get right.

Chilling.

Comment by Facebook User — February 27, 2009 @ 2:00 pm

How bout allowing me to decide? I write a will when I am alive, why can’t I tell facebook what to do in the event of my death. I hope my facebook account is opened up several years after my death just like Census records are. My decedents should be allowed to learn about my life and get a sense of who I was through facebook.

Comment by CG — February 27, 2009 @ 11:13 pm

I actually like the idea of my Facebook profile sticking around after I'm gone. I don't understand why a family member would even want to pursue closing what will probably be the most comprehensive memorial a person could have.

Comment by Rodney — February 28, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

It can be a bit tricky – my best friend died two years ago and he had a Facebook account and it is still there. In some ways it is nice to see his picture show up in my friends list and in other ways it is a painful reminder that he is no longer around. It is fine for me to feel the pain of loss when I see his smiling face – but if it was a family member or in this case – my friends son is on Facebook, and it is one's father it would be very hard to deal with. When you see your friends face on Facebook you wonder what are they up to right now – but in the case of friends that pass – it is a sharp reminder that they are not here any longer to enjoy all the friends they have.

I think the memorial page is the best way to deal with it and it should be the family that has the final say as to if it shows up or not.

Cheers – Eric

Comment by Eric Dewhirst — March 2, 2009 @ 11:54 am

Tricky indeed! I think the best way would be to allow me to decide what happens with my account. And if I decided not to delete, then my friends should have an option to hide my face on their friends listings.

CG: interesting what you said about open it up! Newer thought about that option, but kind of like it.

Comment by EdgarPE — March 2, 2009 @ 2:46 pm

The policy is messed up. Just look at this situation: http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/4657019/

Why memorialize friendships like that?

Comment by Emmo Etzel — March 3, 2009 @ 12:09 pm

I see dead people….

I was thinking why Facebook rejected this at first. From a marketing point of view, even the "memorial" pages are going to have ads, and are going to drive some revenue, with more people looking at those ads after the person dies. Could that be the reason? And if that is the case, what type of advertisement is Facebook using?

Comment by PPerez — March 26, 2009 @ 3:16 pm

I think facebook should have option where the account can be totally deleted like it can for example with myspace, a little while ago now I conducted a little test on facebook. Ok so one day y’know I’d just basically become totally fed up with facebook and social networking all together and so wanted to delete my account I then was fairly annoyed to find out that you only had the option to “deactivate” your account not totally delete like myspace, but then what outraged me after that was when I asked a friend to go to my profile I was shocked to see that all my information was still there and still fully accessable despite me “deactivating” the account , so in the end I ended up using my account again but rarely now as I, to be honest don’t really want to, and so for deceased members I think that it is uttery oporling that this much trouble has to happen for a family relative to gain control of the deceased account.

Comment by LM — April 15, 2009 @ 11:00 am

I am quite certain I will never have to deal with this issue.

Comment by Peter Atkinson — May 23, 2009 @ 3:20 pm

My sixteen year old son, Kaleb, died in a car accident in October 2008. I didn't request his page be removed. However, I did request that facebook let me become his friend so I could see and read the postings of his friends. In someway this gives me comfort to know that people still miss Kaleb. It's hard to explain how I feel. Sadly FB would not agree to let me be a friend. They memorialized his profile. Why couldn't FB just let me, his mom, be a friend??? What would it hurt???

Comment by Vivian Payne — June 20, 2009 @ 3:39 pm

Pretty much have the same situation…..

My brother passed away and I of course can not get into his page. I do NOT want to delete or deactivate it; I want to leave it up for any tributes people would like to offer and open it up to anyone that would like to put a not on his Wall. I have searched and search through the help pages but to no avail am able to locate assistance. Help pages do not offer anyway for comments, which is funny since there are many comments. So, any suggestions I am open…

Comment by Judy Wallace — September 18, 2009 @ 9:19 am

My son Steffun Kong passed recently,July 26th 2009, & I have been trying to find a way to have his profile deleted for his birthday is coming up next Sunday September 27th 2009 and I know that his friends will be sending in birthday wishes etc to his profile, i know they mean well, but….and he and I have a lot of friends in common, this is not easy for me and I would appreciate if Facebook can please delete the profile so that no one can add anything to it, he lived in Trinidad West Indies, Diego Martin to be exact, his date of birth was September 27th 1988, all you have to do is look on his profile and you will see that he passed, with all the comments etc. that I am his mother I can prove if you need I can forward a copy of his birth paper, passport, national id card, and death certificate to you if you tell me where to send it to, i can email it, along with a copy of anything of mine that would prove that I am his Mother. Unlike one of the comments above, it would only hurt more with persons sending in comments and best wishes and happy birthday and that kinda thing, I just want it to be over. Please delete the account. Thanks

Comment by Sabrina Superville — September 20, 2009 @ 10:45 pm

Accounts should time out after nine months of no login. As the facebook community gets larger it probably makes sense to automatically delete accounts. As well, a family member can always create a new group for memorial purposes.

That’s probably the safest and easiest legal way of dealing with it.

Comment by Corey — October 5, 2009 @ 4:06 am

My friend passed away ten months ago and we continue to write on her wall whenever we miss her. I know it’s probably not the easiest way to deal with it, but I don’t ever want to lose this communication with my friend, it makes me feel like I’m still connected to her in some way.

Comment by jayden — October 27, 2009 @ 5:00 pm

My son Robby died tragically on September 5, 2009. Fortunately, his cousin knew his password so we have been able to monitor it (neither parent had FB accounts). We feel very fortunate that FB is available for us to keep in contact with his friends and read the things they post daily on his page.

Comment by Sue J — October 28, 2009 @ 9:11 am

I am dealing with a family whose daughter suicided and the comments on facebook are very distressing to the family. to try to delete this profile is proving just another major battle for this very traumatised family and is causing such untold grief. To find the information to have this profile deleted has proven to be a battle of major proportion and is just disgraceful.

Comment by Sue — November 10, 2009 @ 5:02 pm

Yes, it is very distressing to loose a family member in the first place. Almost a month before my Son passed away,I sent him a friend request on Facebook. Well,it was never answered,untill two months after he died. His death was suspicious,and I had contacted the police. They only had a recording,so I left a message that I needed to talk to someone. They never got back to me. Then one day,while I was on Facebook,I sat there in shock as I looked at a message,with my Son's picture. It said my Son's name,then it said "He's engaged". This was two months after he was shot. I sent a message back "Who ever is doing this,Stop…now!" Well, guess what? The next day,the picture and message disappeared. then I received a message from his girlfriend,asking me how I was doing. I was appalled,and wondered what is going on. Should I call the police ?

Comment by Kimea — December 11, 2009 @ 8:32 pm

I lost my friend on October 19 and I was wondering what would happen to his facebook account. For reasons that seem trivial now he and I were not friends on facebook at the time of his death, so I imagine I cannot see his page anymore if I looked it up. Personally I don't want to see it, it would hurt too much, but I don't see a problem with his other friends accessing his page, just like I wouldn't mind people accessing my page when I die.

However, I do think we should be given an option when we sign up of whether or not we would like to have our page still up in the event of our death. I feel like that would solve this problem right away. If we do want it to stay up then keep it up and memorialize it. If we don't than delete it completely.

Comment by Keviswithme — December 12, 2009 @ 6:44 am

i too want my deceased son off facebook as its so distressing when it suggests i add him as a friend but still looking for a concrete way of doing this

Comment by susan steele — January 9, 2010 @ 2:07 pm

I lost my Dad a few weeks ago. We wanted to leave his account up for awhile so we could get messages to friends that we may not have known to call. Last night there was a message on my screen to reconnect with Dad. It was sad to see. I expect FB to send me birthday reminders any day now. I can't imagine if people were leaving negetive comments. There is so much to work through when greiving a family member this is just another one of those painful decisions that has to be made.

Comment by Paula — February 1, 2010 @ 3:47 am

I have now lost two friends that were on my Facebook friends list. I feel guilty if I think of deleting them as my friend, but it is upsetting to see their name on all lists to send gifts to, to write on their wall, etc. If I do delete them as a friend, I will keep getting prompts to reconnect with them, and that is upsetting too. Not sure what the correct answer to this would be. Just my two cents worth.

Comment by Alberta DeCicco — February 5, 2010 @ 10:12 pm

I just wanted to write something here about my recent passing of a friend who was very fond of facebook. Over the past month or so I have checked his wall and have seen many people leave messages to the affect of "Thinking of you." and "Wish you were here to chat with at 2am.".. With that being said I believe everyone handles it differently. For some it is a sense of still being connected with that person. Me personally I wrote something on there a couple days ago and to be honest… It felt great. Just because something isn't right for you doesn't mean it's wrong.. I know he would be happy that his facebook account is still active and I hope mine is when I'm gone… Food for thought.

Comment by Hope — February 12, 2010 @ 11:01 pm

Hi-My son was killed in a car accident February 17th, 2010. I want to be able to keep his FB page alive but I would like to change the profile picture he has on there. I have no clue what the password is. Is there anyway I can get this? I don not want his page to ever go away.

Comment by Shir — February 26, 2010 @ 12:46 pm

So as a family member of a deceased member the issue is that my dead father's account keeps popping up asking me to recommend more friends. It's painful! And there as with all facebook help there is nothing at all that is helpful in dealing with this. Apparently I have to write the President and enclose a death certificate.

Barbaric!

Comment by Ruchard Beal — March 3, 2010 @ 4:17 pm

And I should have added that NO FACEBOOK EMPLOYEE ever reads any comments (or if they do they are so low level they can do nothing about it). We've all experienced that.

That's what happens when you allow someone in their 20s to be CEO of a significant company. They simply haven't learned about the real world yet.

Shameful.

Comment by Ruchard Beal — March 3, 2010 @ 4:21 pm

JUST DE-FRIEND HIM/HER.

If it's painful to be reminded, that is. If you don't feel comfortable de-friending, obviously having that page available to you is a comfort, in which case you shouldn't be asking to have it deleted.

Comment by Simple Solution — March 10, 2010 @ 9:05 pm

please help–I need to delete my husband's memorial page on Facebook. His death, drowning as a result of a heart attack, was accidental, unfortunately on our honeymoon in front of me and the children, and his family continues to blame me, his bride of 4 1/2 days, for his death. Their venom is exposed on his page, and I need for it to disappear. It is dishonoring my husband and my self and children, and I need for it to stop. Help!!

Comment by Dani — May 9, 2010 @ 1:52 pm

My fiance passed away, quite quickly, from cancer recently. Somebody reported his account as deceased, yet his mom and I still use it. She's not very computer literate, though I am, and we liked having his account. I have sent email after email after email to facebook, telling them that we did not authorize this request, and to reactivate it. They have not done so yet, and that was about 2 weeks ago. I am upset that I am unable to login to his account (when he was alive, we both had eachothers passwords, and logged in together all the time)… and I liked being able to send him messages on there (my way of talking to him). I'm unsure what else to do. Any advice?

Comment by Lisa Marie — May 12, 2010 @ 1:34 pm

My husband died – I want his face book page removed – how do I do this – is there a customer service connect with Face Book?

I don't know my husband's pass word either

Comment by jennifer lyon — May 30, 2010 @ 6:05 am

How do I remove a deceased persons Face book>

Comment by Marianne — June 1, 2010 @ 1:01 pm

My account or my main account that has all my family and family genealogy research on it has been stuck in limbo aka memorial state. Facebook claims that if you send them a screen shot they will attempt to review the problem. They note that they cannot review everything.

Well does this mean that we're stuck? – Am i now doomed to have everything shut down? Someone couldn't possibly have the possible RIGHTS to claim me as deceased.

Comment by Reiko Arashi — June 1, 2010 @ 8:13 pm

Have the same problem!!!!! Son passed away last year, don't know he's password, also want to have his facebook profile CLOSED!!!!!! He's not here anymore!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T U HELP US??????

Comment by geraldine — June 30, 2010 @ 9:04 pm

I'm he's mother and am sure u can help me to close his facebook account – IF U WANT TO!!!!! I really can't see the reason why its still open. He passed over – he's not here anymore – PLEASE HELP ME IN DOING THIS!!!! U have got no idea how painful it is, knowing that its still openend!!!!!

Comment by geraldine — June 30, 2010 @ 9:07 pm

Report a Deceased Person's Profile

I need help with my auntie annes profile. want it deleted also my family and auntie annes friends its to painfull to see her profile all the time.

IHAVE BEEN TRYING TO DELETE THIS FOR OVER A MONTH NOW

PLEASE CAN ANYONE HELP ME

Stacey Graham Page details: Stacey Graham's Fundraising Page
http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/staceygraham2... for Life – donate to charity and raise funds online – Stacey Graham's Fundraising Page
http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org
Race for Life – Online Sponsorship

Comment by STACEY — August 10, 2010 @ 8:26 am

my mother is deceased now two years and i cant even get a response from facebook… tired of her being a freind request

Comment by sheldon — August 29, 2010 @ 9:47 am

hi my sister passed away the 25 th of august . … i was on yesterday and someone is using her sight . can we have her sight closed down … it is weird to see it on when log on … thanks

Comment by sharon campbell — September 1, 2010 @ 11:57 am

PLEASE REMOVE MY SON PAUL LEVASSEUR FROM FB…HE DIED 8/5/10

Comment by jerry leVasseur — September 6, 2010 @ 3:14 pm

well you see…My Dad had an anyerizm last april….so ya…he dosnt remmember his face book password so i have been trying to figure it out…….HELP!!!!

Comment by juice box — October 20, 2010 @ 6:52 pm

I am so sorry : /

Comment by jesse candoala — October 20, 2010 @ 6:53 pm

For 1 thing ,I am the father of a deceased member of facebook. It just so happens that he gave his password to his biological mother who started spreading rumors on his account. She began slandering all his friends and nearly started WW 3. I do not have his password and I can not shut it down. And BTW his bio mother never cared about him in the first place and I raised him til he was 18.

Comment by john — November 17, 2010 @ 4:50 am

ou don't understand why this matters to family members – well I'll tell you. I lost my husband 6 months ago – and trust me it would certainly help me a great deal if his picture didn't keep showing up as a "friend who found friends on facebook". I don't need facebook reminding me that his birthday is next week. I figure I'm doing my best to cope with the loss, you do stuff to keep busy – including socialize on facebook – and every time it happens i recoil and have to recover again.

Comment by Julie — December 5, 2010 @ 7:57 am

I know the feeling. My brother passed away unexpectedly in March but would never accept me (long story) as a friend. Now that he is gone, I can't even go to his page any longer to see his face.

Comment by Ellen Gaffield — December 16, 2010 @ 1:48 pm

i am still alive..while my account is in special memorial state…

rehanfareed@hotmail.com is my account.

Comment by rehan — December 17, 2010 @ 7:34 pm

My mother passed away only 4 months ago, Her live in boyfriend has decided that it is prudent to talk to her through post on face book. I am her legal power of attorney, Her passing has devastated my life as she was my best friend and I miss her dearly she was only 59 she lost her battle with cancer. I find it hard enough each day without having to see these post I want her account frozen so no one can post on it or so I have to ok the post first I, if thats not possible I would prefer that it be deleted.

Comment by Tracey — December 19, 2010 @ 1:41 am

I am only looking into this issue because my cousin asked me how to delete her mother's account. Her mom died several months ago. Personally, I don't see the need to have it deleted, but of course I love my cousin and respect her wishes. These comments are interesting to me, though, and I thought maybe my suggestions would be helpful… so here they go:

Comment by Vicky Chrisner — January 22, 2011 @ 7:55 pm

Wrongly my FB account memorialized when I am still alive.
http://lightafterdark.blogspot.com/2011/02/wrongl...

Facebook have yesterday put my account (http://www.facebook.com/MikeXeeko)
into special memorial state, which denies me access to my account. I have filled every possible form there is available and I have even tried calling them but the number isnt used now.

I happen to have an another account in facebook, by using which I have created help page and try to contact facebook without any success.

Yesterday Happen to be my 20th birthday (8th feb 1991). and I have last written on my friends wall wishing her happy birthday (http://www.facebook.com/naxima) which is (9th feb).

The last pic I uploaded was a screen shot of my mobile phone. and I have thanked everyone who wished on my birthday. and I have reset my password today after the account got memorialized to see if that enables and I remember the password too.

My account is made under the email id of p.r.i.n.c.e@live.com

which is my email id.

Someone must have misused facebook special memorial form or it is an honest mistake by facebook.

I request them to contact me or give my account back. ASAP.

If they require any futhure comfirmation of me been alive I am willing to provide them including phone number and video chat opportunity to verify that i am still alive.

My name on facebook is Xixu Xeeks (Mohamed Xeehan)
Email ID: p.r.i.n.c.e@live.com
Network: none
My privacy setting will be customized
and I recently changed my quotation to in 2011…(the full quotation I dont remember)
I live in male' maldives
my home town also will be Male' Maldives

Please give me my account back.

Comment by xeeks — February 9, 2011 @ 5:05 pm

Because facebook offers people to be mutual friends even when your friend's mother is dead.

Comment by Sean — February 14, 2011 @ 12:34 pm

I have a girl friend that I wanted to send a Face Book invite to. FB came back saying they already had that e-mail in FB. So I searched & searched for her,could not find her. Finally thought to do a search for the e-mail. Well it came up, it belonged to her now deceased husband. So FB would not send her an invite, because he had a FB account. I'm really not sure how to deal with this.

Comment by Terri — May 17, 2011 @ 5:53 pm

my brother died need to delete his account

Comment by patrick — September 6, 2011 @ 1:23 pm

i would like for someone to get back with me. my son died on jan 1 and he is still on facebook but there is no way i can friend him because i was not on here at the time

Comment by ginger higgins — September 6, 2011 @ 11:24 pm

there must be some effective reporting mechanism or death certificates check !

Comment by sorcim — September 14, 2011 @ 2:35 pm

my brother was fatally injured in an accident this summer. his FB site is still up and running. i'm glad – so many friends and family wrote on his site and he still gets tagged. i'm not sure what he would think about it, but it has been comforting for those who new him – being he had connections all over the country and overseas this has been very helpful. Eventually, the site should come down.

Comment by Gabriele — October 7, 2011 @ 11:42 am

well what if your husband dies , and he raised your three kids , and had two of his own , but they never gave a crap about him till he died , and now the use his facebook to save face and feed of their own guilt,. i do not want them to have the right , to act like the ever gave a shit about him,. it really make me and his three step kids witch he love , and not saying he didn't love his own kid , he did , but the never acted like the loved him,. and we dont want to see all there bull on his face book

Comment by sammy — November 5, 2011 @ 10:13 pm

My sister passed away Jan. 1, 2011 and someone is adding new friends to her list. Also some one has deleted me from the friend list.. Who is doing this? Activity on a deceased persons wall, is this legal??

Comment by connie — December 16, 2011 @ 10:24 am

It is a constant reminder of losing someone so close. It feels like an invasion of what should be a private mourning. I just lost my sister and I am trying to get Facebook to close the account not only for me but for my step-dad. A death is a very private matter

Comment by Brenda — January 4, 2012 @ 11:37 pm

I am assuming you have not lost anyone close to you. I would rather be able to close the Facebook account as opposed to de-friend someone that I love very much.

Comment by Brenda — January 4, 2012 @ 11:40 pm

I agree that an option to delete after death sould be there for people to activate when they have an account. For all the people wishing to delete family and friends accounts because it pains them to see them please remember that it is their account and they may have wished it to stay open.( I know that I would) so friends could drop by and visit. If it really bothers you to be reminded that a loved one once existed pehaps remove them from your friends list. I just hope my family never feels they would need to do this and just think long turm. Would you not regret losing the ability to visit their page many years from now, when the pain of lose turns to the joy of rememberance?

Comment by Jeramy — January 14, 2012 @ 2:13 am

I am in this situation and have tried to reach someone to have his page deleted. My son was not 18 still a minor and as such my responsibility. He passed July 2010 and by agreement of his friends and family left his account active to allow people to talk, write whatever was needed. However, over time his close friends and family remember him in so many ways not on facebook. Not always are the comments made related to his memory it's disagreements, lack of concern for another friends point of view. When he passed so suddenly so many people wanted to get on his page and we let them. He was a well know athlete so over 1200 were on it in no time. It has served it's purpose. I can not close it down because the computer he and I shared which automatically let me into his facebook page is now having a problem opening windows. Don't have his password so can't get into his page from my new computer. I also was not a friend of his on facebook, didn't need to be he let me on it whenever I wanted.

Comment by Leslie — January 24, 2012 @ 8:28 pm

Hello,
My name is Jeffrey.
I tried to log into Facebook and I got a message that states my account is under memorial.
In other words they think I'm dead!!!.
I find the Facebook help cntr is not that great and I can't seem to get anywhere.
I have written 3 emails,but I wonder who would read them?.
If any one can help me and give me some advice that would be great!.
Thank you
Jeffrey

Comment by jeffrey carrington — January 26, 2012 @ 6:55 am

Hello,
My name is Jeffrey.
I tried to log into my Facebook account and I got a message that I could not log in due to special memoral notice.
In other words Facebook think I'm dead!!!.
I have wrote 3 emails to them,but I think who would read them?.
I also find there help cntr is not very helpful at all.
If some one can help me and give me some advice that would be great.
Thank you;
Jeffrey

Comment by jeffrey carrington — January 26, 2012 @ 7:07 am

Facebook Changes Policy on Deceased Users Accounts?

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