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We regularly hear stories of people losing their jobs due to things they’ve posted on Facebook or of relationships that have been broken up due to their public Facebook activity. Facebook can be a great supplement to your existing relationships but if used incorrectly it can be devastating. People post information that they don’t expect to become public but within a short period of time, most information becomes revealed and the users learn their lesson. We’ve compiled 10 signs that you’re a Facebook Noob. If you don’t know what the term “Noob” means, check out the Urban Dictionary’s definition.
1. You Post Drunk Party Photos From Last Night
This is seriously the number one offense of a Facebook noob. In college it was a regular occurrence: you’d go out to a party and the next morning there would be photos of you from the previous night. In college it doesn’t really matter because it’s typically only your friends that end up seeing the photos but by the time you step into the “real world”, drunken photos can cost you your job. Seriously there is no longer an excuse for this to happen anymore.
If you happen to get tagged and some of your friends see, just quickly untag yourself and you should be good to go. Alternatively, step up your Facebook game and follow our short Facebook privacy guide to make sure it never happens!
2. You’ve Friended Your Child On Facebook
So this isn’t exactly a Facebook offense but it’s a good sign that you’ve most likely joined the site recently. Over the past few months one of the fastest growing demographics is women over 60 and while it’s not just mothers that are joining, they are joining at an amazing pace. To the new Facebook parents I say: welcome! It’s not necessarily a bad thing to be a Facebook Noob but knowing that you are one is the first step toward becoming an expert!
3. You Publicly Flirt With Your Significant Other’s Friends On Facebook
It’s one thing to try to steal your friend’s significant other but it’s a whole other thing to do it publicly. We all know that cheating takes place but do you really want to do that publicly? If you are posting romantic comments on your friend’s significant other’s wall you may want to question your own moral compass.
Whether or not cheating takes place, you are serious decreasing your social value by publicly interfering with your friends’ relationships. If the person who’s in the relationship is the one doing the public flirting then the situation just got a bit more complex. If you are using Facebook as a tool to get dates, fine, but don’t go around destroying relationships with your Facebook activities.
4. You Keep Inviting Your Friends To Your Latest Quiz
When Facebook launched their redesign applications started popping up in the feed on a regular basis. There is now a plethora of quiz applications that have begun to spam the feed. Yes, the quizzes can be fun to take but is it really necessary to take 10 of them in a day and let all of your friends know every single result? Whether you are inviting your friends to take the quizzes or posting the results to your feed, it can get pretty annoying if you do it regularly.
5. You’ve Posted Photos Of Yourself That Can Be Used Against You In A Court Of Law
I once had a person apply to work for me and his profile photos included a photo of himself smoking a joint and chugging directly from a bottle of whiskey. Granted, he was in college and was apparently enjoying partying but it’s probably not a good idea to post things that can get you arrested. If you are in high school and posing with an arsenal of guns, you may raise some red flags with your peers and potentially with the local authorities.
6. You Post Mundane Status Updates
I love knowing what my friends are up to but some people don’t even try to get creative with their status updates. If all of your status updates describe the minutiae of your life, you should probably try to have an extremely interesting life. For example, if you are “in the process of going base jumping with a flying suit”, that’s probably something I’d like to know. However if you “just got lunch”, that doesn’t add much value to your network.
7. You Friend People That You Don’t Know
Facebook is supposed to be a site for networking and sharing with your existing contacts not with people you don’t know. That doesn’t mean plenty of people don’t use the site to date. Typically there is at least some sort of courting process which involves conversation. Whatever purpose you are using Facebook for, randomly adding people just because they showed up in the “suggestions” box as someone you might know, is not the best way to go about things.
A good rule of thumb to live by: friend a person if you have at least spoken to them before and they can recall the conversation.
8. Believe And Click The Ads That Someone Has A Crush On You
Facebook applications have become littered with advertisements that are irrelevant to any user. That doesn’t stop millions of people from clicking on them. Often times you may want to avoid clicking the advertisements as you may suddenly end up with a random charge to your phone bill because you were tricked in to signing up for daily horoscope readings. Whether or not you’ve clicked on them, you should have probably learned your lesson by now: that ad is not really about someone that has a crush on you.
9. You Take the “Real Or Fake?” Quiz And Post The Results
Some Facebook quizzes are more explicit then others. The “Real or Fake?” quiz asks users to determine whether or not a individual pair of breasts is real or fake. While extremely enticing to some users, boasting about your results is probably not a good idea. One day I was looking at my feed and one of my friends had been caught taking the quiz. Needless to say one of his friends was not happy (as pictured below). If you plan on taking any questionable quizzes, you may want to think twice about posting the results.
10. You Get Fired For Being On Facebook
Yesterday Reuters reported that “a Swiss insurance worker lost her job after surfing popular social network site Facebook while off sick.” Typically it wouldn’t be an issue but her excuse for missing work was that she couldn’t work in front of the computer and had to lie in the dark (I’m assuming related to a Migrane or something along those lines). I really don’t think this one needs much more of an explanation. Don’t be dumb about your Facebook activity and you should be fine. However, if you’ve been fired from work because of your Facebook activity, you are officially a Facebook Noob.
HAHAHA!!! Co-workers catch me all the time, on FB, Twitter, Niketalk, etc… wish they would fire me. Ben (my director) too cool tho, he dun care, long as i get ‘err done!!
This is my favorite Nick O’Neill post of all time!
Great post Nick!
Facebook is evil, I dont think anybody will have a reason to use it for any purpose apart from developing apps to sell on it. The only reason I can think of, for using Facebook is to see what people are up to and what are they doing on facebook. Then facebook becomes a twitter public timeline.
#2 should not just be a sign of noobishness, but a major faux pas unless invited to do so by your child.
I love this! I think this is what many of us have been saying for a long time. I’m about to be a senior in college, and with one year left, I’m nervous about how my Facebook account will affect my job search. I despise status updates and most applications, but my pictures could be incriminating…while my friends and I find these amusing, my future employer most likely will not.
hehe, I only do one of it.. guess what ! flirting
Hi,
Well, then don’t follow me on Facebook, follow me on….
José
I hope this becomes a primer requiring mandatory reading and the passing of a standardized exam before one more facenoob is allowed to enter the magic kingdom.
You might consider fleshing it out to 21, for some reason 7, 12, 21 and 22 are numerological significant, and add a scale like done in an AA test.
For example…
If you chose 1 correctly you might be a noob.
If you chose 2 you are probably a noob.
If you chose 3 or more you are definitely a noob!
…
David D. “Griff” Griffith
@DDGriffith
I love this post and it’s all so true. However I did already hear about #10, and the thing that bugged me about that is posting to one’s Facebook doesn’t NECESSARILY mean she was sitting straight up and staring at a large, bright monitor while under glaring flourescent lights at home. I think I read she claimed she did it from her iPod while lying down. I really feel that sometimes some employers take the “we own every second of your life” and a LITTLE too far. That’s about as bad as employers calling your home when you’re home sick to make sure you’re really there (and conjured up pre-cell-phone memories of being so feverish and sick I could barely stand while I waited at the pharmacy for my prescription while NOT home, or the time I was so sick I had to go to the ER and was very specifically NOT HOME.)
#11 - you read posts like this. I disagree with 2, 6 & 7. 2-I’m friends w/my dad on FB & I think it’s great -also my aunts, uncles & cousins. #6 - I think this is one of the most tired suggestions of all time. If people want to post what’s on their mind & nothing’s on their mind - then post “nothing!” It’s THEIR page! Let ‘em do what they want! If people don’t want to read it or don’t care, let ‘em skip over it. 7-I’ve friended people I don’t know - not to “up” my numbers, but b/c I thought they were interesting, they post good stuff or they’re a friend of a friend whom I’d like to get to know better. Yep, guess I’m a noob - don’t do the other 7, but I guess since I’ve done one, I might as well have done them all. But If I’m one, then I’m going to be the best damn noob I can be. Thanks for showing me how to improve pathetic-ness level.
Sorry if this post sounds angry - don’t really mean it to be. I just keep seeing this over & over. Glad to find a site that has a name for the insidious nagging that was telling me I’m a certain unknown “something.” 
C’mon man get away from age discrimination. just because a 24 years old founded FB, doesn’t mean that 40,50,60+ can’t use it.
You’ll be that age one day.Didn’t came to your bird brain that parents can be miles and countries away from their children and still want to share pics, movies and feeling with them.
Yuu have a world to discover, get out of your post puberty box and join the party.
From new born to anyone of us alive we are on the same boat.
If your ideal world is a boat for each decade, how boring.
Don’t know exactly what you do on a GLOBAL network.
Pathetic!!!!
Julie from #9 can shove it. “One of his friends was not happy”?? Who is she to be telling him how to live his life? It’s not like he emigrated and joined a suicide cult or religious hate group. Like, *seriously* Julie… get a life.
Quizzes like that are only questionable if you’re a) at work, or b) using Facebook as a business tool. Obviously you shouldn’t be on FB at work, so it might as well be any quiz - either way, you’re slacking and it shows.
As for the second point, FB *isn’t* a business tool. That’s what LinkedIn is for. I use my FB as a personal profile, and if I want to look at boobs, then I will, regardless of whether or not my friends (or Julie for that matter… like, seriously. OK enough sarcasm now.) like it.
Very interesting post AS USUAL though I’m well aware of it. My comments:
You really believed that? C’mon…you should know better. Got a huge phone bill too? what a shame (also Facebook’s shame!)
1) You got fired for posting drunk/inappropriate photos? You deserve it then! for getting that drunk and for being that stupid to let other people take your photos and then tag you. (Remember that you call those people friends, off course..) Flashing your drunken head in the toilet is funny? Well, if something like this could have ever happen to me (though it couldn’t) and you would have tagged me in an embarrassing situation you could have kissed me goodbye immediately, permanently and for good. Just try to pull off something like this…
2) I already have a few other family members and I wouldn’t mind having my parents including my grandparents but I doubt they’ll ever join Facebook and I doubt even more them coping with the new crappy layouut. I for sure am not going to recommend them or anyone else for that matter.
3) Obviously…that goes without saying, no? unless you’re 4 years old or something
5) ” - same thing - ” unless you’re looking for troubles (and if you do have an arsenal of guns in your possession you’re probably not my type anyway).
6) I don’t like status updates but in general- don’t bug me and don’t nag me and don’t send more than 3 status updates a day (max!) and don’t tell what you had for lunch…I couldn’t care less
7) I don’t do anything randomly but sometimes adding people you don’t know might be interesting, like if they share same interests and so on, post good stuff or just because you have your own reason- Yea, I agree with TINA.
4+9) I don’t tend to like people that do those kind of quizzes (or people becoming fans of Jenna Jameson, boobs, asses, Playboy…you know what I mean). You’d better not spam my feed with that trash. If I’m caught in a bad mood or something I might even unfriend you for seeing that ’cause you’re annyoing my peace of mind.
I don’t mind friends inviting me for quizzes. I take one look at them and if I don’t like I just ignore them.
10) Your FB activity is just like any other activity. It’s your “business card”, even if you’re not on Fb for work or business. Anything you write can and will be used for or against you one day- keep it in mind.
I’m a great believer in the “Respect yourself and others will respect you”.
- Sorry if I have a mistake or 2 in English and if it’s bit long…there’s a lot to write
Nick, thanks for a nice summary. As far as #10, you didn’t mention a scandal much closer to home: the case of Cisco Fatty: http://ciscofatty.com/
#1 You went out, you got drunk, someone took a picture and posted it. So what? Your boss sees it. So what? It’s your private life. If you’re public spokesman for the Vegetarian Society and you’re munching a burger or some other thing that brings your employer into disrepute then fair comment. Otherwise it’s none of their business.
#9 Get some friends with a sense of humour without sticks in their asses. As long as you’re not posting links to 1 man 1 jar into everybody’s feed then knock yourself out.
Nice column.
Re:#10 - The woman did not get fired for facebooking while home sick. That was an excuse, and a pretty transparent one at that. If her contribution at her workplace was valuable and her history with the company was solid, then there would be no problem. That’s like saying that a woman left her husband because he didn’t know the colour of her eyes. Please. Companies don’t fire productive, hardworking employees for facebooking on a sick day. That is a ‘last straw’ excuse if I ever saw one.
haha ))
lol ur the noob