13 Comments »For those not aware, this is a satirical post, not actual news
Today, Facebook approved a $150 million application bailout. This comes after news of the impending shift to the new design for all users. The new design has damaged the traffic of hundreds if not thousands of applications which once thrived in the Facebook economy. The result? Many application developers are now back on the street looking for development work.
When asked for a comment Mark Zuckerberg said, “We must act quickly, otherwise the pain being felt by the developers could rapidly spread into the rest of the economy.” When Barack Obama heard the news of the proposed Facebook bailout, he decided that the issue was so important that his campaign was put on hold and he asked Friday’s Presidential debate to be postponed.
When notified of Obama’s decision, Senator John McCain replied with “Deal!” During a press conference today, Obama said, “Millions of young voters may not have access to applications that they once used on a daily basis. These Facebook users are my constituents and all my constituents have the right to bite their friends on the neck as often as they’d like. Even if they are at work!”
When asked whether giving away more than a quarter of the company’s bank account to developers was a good idea or not, Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer at Facebook, said “Do you know how many stock options I had at Google?” While we were a bit confused by Sheryl’s response, one thing is clear: developers are ecstatic.
One top developer that preferred to speak anonymously said, “We had to switch our application name from FunWall to FunSpace, tell me who’s hurting!” That developer claimed their daily active users had dropped by more than 30 percent since Facebook started rolling out the new design. While it is unclear how this money will be distributed, we will be sure to keep you up to date with any news related to this bailout.
Nice way to see who reads more than the title of your posts! Cute story though.
Kinda wish they would offer some kind of bail out for developers. We are spending a lot of resources trying to keep up with their changes.
I would move
“For those not aware, this is a satirical post, not actual news”
to the end of the post
It's a bit strange that Obama put his campaign on hold just because facebook apps are not getting enough hits
Oh, this is not news. doh!
A bailout is insane. You can't throw money at something that isn't working and expect it to fix it. You have to fix the system itself if you want to see any improvement. You detract from the system when you take money out of it in order to throw money at the problem.
I also don't think that Facebook should bail out app developers. Sorry to get off topic.
I hope you realize this was a joke
Very cleaver. Nice post.
I almost missed the disclaimer at the top and was confused as to why this would be taken so seriously….then I noticed. Well definitely a great post… making light of the situation going on right now
Awesome.
The only thing I am depressed about is that my tax dollars aren't going towards the Facebook $$$ bailout. I feel that I, as a taxpayer, should bear the brunt of these sort of things.
good idea for a post, wonder how you came up with it
Nice job dropping keywords! I hope you'll report back on the spike in traffic. Thanks for the laugh.